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Alphabetti Presents a double bill of
Sardines & Personal Best

Thursday 23rd & Friday 24th of May 2024

Sardines is written and performed by Emily Ash

Personal Best is written and performed by Jude Nelson

With a score by Ruth Lyon

Sardines by Emily Ash

What’s the worst way you’ve ever been fired?

Molly is an emotionally complex character whose mind is always running at 100mph. She doesn’t understand the world. Her personal life is a mess, but she’s trying her best to figure things out. When Molly’s world is thrown one night, she goes undercover and tries to teach her manager a moral lesson. However, when being revengeful doesn’t fix all her problems, she digs deeper to find out the root of why she reacted in the way she did, why she reverted to acting like a child. Join her in a psychological assessment as she works through her experience and tries to grow from it.

For those who find themselves ringing their Mum anytime there’s a slight crisis, anyone who has come to the realisation that adulthood isn’t always the cool, fairy tale you thought as a child.

Personal Best by Jude Nelson

It’s 6.30am. I’m up and ready. Everything’s brushed.

Actively choosing to exercise at 6.30am wasn’t how George imagined her future, but she is on a mission to be strong and sexy (and if she happened to find a boyfriend too, it would simply be a bonus). Personal Best is a story about the search for love, self-acceptance and leggings that aren’t see through.

Key Info

Cafe & Bar is open from 11am 

Doors open at 7.30pm with a prompt start

Running Time is approximately 60 minutes.

This show is recommended for ages 12+

Covid 19 Policy: We are no longer operating social distancing, and face coverings are encouraged but not mandatory–our policy is reviewed fortnightly.


£15 Full Price

£7.50 Concession

Suitable for Over 65, Under 18, Student, Artist, Unemployed Benefit, Disability Benefit

£3 No Questions Asked

Limited to 8 for each performance and online only.


Click the arrows below to learn more about the artists behind the making of this show.


Emily Ash (she/her) is an actor and writer who trained at the Arden School of Theatre. A native Geordie, Emily’s recent theatre credits include: ‘What’s Next’ (53Two) Where did all the Magpie’s Go? (The Customs House) Song of the Goblins (Alphabetti Theatre) Angela (Alphabetti Theatre) and she has also written for Live Theatre last year.


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